#ofmd makes me suicidal

[found-queer]

I'm honestly almost dying bc yes I was living but now I'm sooooo curious about the new ofmd episode I want to fucking kms

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I've been thinkin' on it, and I think the biggest reason people are still insisting that Ed is just awful and abusive and whatever (aside from the racism of it all) is because the writers of OFMD fundamentally assume that viewers will like him and be on his side.

And, like, that is one hell of a reasonable assumption. Before s2 we spent a lot of time getting to know Ed; we see he's very sweet and smart and can be silly, and his self-esteem isn't great and he already has a lot of self-destructive tendencies and struggles with believing he can have nice things. These are all things we see in s2 and none of them should come as a surprise. We've gotten to know Ed and in s2 the writers assume we will be able to grant him even the barest ounce of sympathy.

"But he's being super violent and hurting the crew!" Ed's behavior at the beginning of s2 is best described as "a bit over the top" in the context of the show, and before he pulls out all the stops trying to get the crew to mutiny on him in his suicide attempt, he never actually hurts anyone except for Izzy (Izzy's the guy who threatened him and caused all this, or he'd still be crying in his blanket fort at the start of the season. OFMD has ALWAYS had a "talk shit get hit" philosophy and Izzy should not be the sole exception).

"But he never had to face any consequences for his actions!" I think almost getting beaten to death and then having to spend an entire episode convincing yourself you deserve to live is a pretty big consequence, actually.

"But he never apologized!" The group apology in s2e5 was obviously a joke (Stede clearly wrote it anyway and made Ed memorize it, look how Stede mouths along and Ed fumbles his lines), and it's pretty clear that Ed's conversation with Fang is meant to represent what he's doing with everyone. He's trying. He thinks up a way to try to give Lucius closure, even though it doesn't work, and when Fang mentions something Ed did that hurt him, Ed immediately and genuinely apologizes. It is not a wild jump to assume Ed's doing that with other characters and the show just assumes we're smart enough to figure that out from context considering how the crew are good with Ed again in s2e6.

"What if he hurts Stede/is abusive to Stede?" Multiple characters ask Stede something to this effect, Stede says "that's really stupid, of course he won't," and Stede is right. Question easily answered.

We're shown that Ed's response to being hurt and upset is not immediately violence. His first response is to go and hide and make himself feel safe - tub, blanket fort, hiding under the blanket and Anne and Mary's. Violence is Ed's response to feeling threatened. There's a difference. We're shown this over and over and over again, and frankly the only reason I think some people miss it is because they don't care to think about what's making Ed feel threatened in the first place.

It's just so clear that some people watching this show care so little about Ed and only care about what he can offer in a scene with other characters. Ed did not enjoy anything that happened at the beginning of the season - the last time we see him in s1 he's sobbing his poor eyes out and that's implied to have been consistent through s2e2. He's suicidal and having a miserable time and yes, he's hurting people who care about him, but it's not just for funsies, it's because he's trying to get himself killed. It's wild to me that some people can turn on the Ed and Stede show, see Ed pull himself out of such a terrible place by the end of the season and commit to a life with his boyfriend, and think that the show is setting up Ed to be abusive or imply he hasn't gone through any character growth and just coasted through the season.

[sunnibits]

(guy who has been hyperfixated on izzy hands for two years voice) hey guys you may not have known this but I actually really love izzy hands

[cursed-rat-of-homosexuality]

how we feelin

(gif by @usermeggy)

pain. I feel pain

[theclaravoyant]

it just . it makes my heart so warm that Ed “Whim Prone” Teach has this quiet slow burn dream of his inn / restaurant . because maybe it started as a whim a little joke over a cooked snake (hell maybe it’s been longer than that!) but it helped give him the strength to imagine a future any future for himself and as a formerly suicidal person that’s so so soooooo important. it’s something he struggled to admit to himself and told himself he can’t do but he also challenged himself (hallucigold) about expecting he can’t do it. it’s something he’s starting to speak into existence. it’s something he’s starting to put into practice (making breakfast) and persisting not rage quitting when he’s not particularly good at it (yeah it’s twine 😅 i panicked). it’s something he’s yearning for in a way he hasn’t yearned for much ever. it’s something he’s starting to nurture about himself . it’s not a whim . it’s a passion. dare I say it’s love.

[leonskendy]

edward’s had a long time to think about the path he’s going to take to tearing himself down (and everyone else down with him) and he decided before any of the specifics were even in place that he would prefer to die by izzy’s hand.

he think he can make it happen, izzy’s good at following orders after all. for the past fuck knows how many years he’s been pointing izzy at anything he wants dead and izzy has been more than willing to cut any man down for his captain.

so he sets out to break down izzy’s loyalty, he could have steered them all into a storm in less than half the time it takes to beat izzy down to the state he’s in when he’s finally handed the gun but edward would prefer this option. maybe he knows izzy is good at killing, he’s efficient. maybe he’s looking for the twisted little scrap of intimacy of knowing who is behind the gun in his final moments.

it doesn’t pan out though, because it was never going to pan out. so plan b it is. still he doesn’t take the gun back, he doesn’t take it because he knows what he’s about to do to himself, to this ship, to everyone onboard and he says goodbye to izzy like that’s another order in itself, goodbye because i hope i will never see you again after this.

the gun is a reward, an act of affection, a fucked up little consolation prize for izzy’s wretched determination to hold onto his loyalty for a man who doesn’t believe he deserves the kind of devotion he’s created. izzy won’t drown alone down here, he won’t die a lonely painful death. there’s no point to hurting each other anymore now and edward doesn’t want him to suffer, this isn’t an apology but it’s something.

edward waits to hear the gunshot. he loved izzy, best he could.

[transmascskywalker]

I still need izzy to grovel a bit. It's fucked up but like, he did purposefully ruin Ed's happiness for his own gain. I'm glad izzy knows he fucked up big time but now we need the sniveling apologies

i mean. to the crew of the revenge absolutely. to ed, hell no. this season proves that ed and izzy’s relationship is mutually toxic and self destructive. watching him stand up to ed and take physical abuse on behalf of the crew puts him in a new light for me. watching him break down from exhaustion and physical pain that he wanted and brought on himself, crying in fang’s arms in front of other people. he just feels much more beaten down to me, and his relationship with ed is a form of mutual self harm. they keep the other around knowing they’re bad for each other. izzy is a masochist in the most abusive and self destructive way. but he’s realized that he can’t keep going on like that, and it brings such a new light to his character that he leans on fang and the others for support. and god, the attempt scene. the fact that he missed because the ship jerked into a storm. the tears in his eyes. it hit really close for me and it really just cemented how much he tries to absolutely destroy himself.

[grave-the-demon]

okay sorry my dear mutuals for this out of left field post but i have a burning NEED to talk about how utterly insane the first three episodes of our flag means death season two have left me...

and look i enjoy gentlebeard/blackbonnet as much as the next gal but you knOOOWWWWW ed and izzy are the ones that make me start clawing at the walls, pacing my enclosure, chewing apart the furniture

the absolute insanity of israel basilica hands saying "What are we?" followed by "I have... love for you, Edward." LIKE??? absolutely insane insane insane. he HAS love. like its a disease. like its a virus that he can't get rid of.

and then ed has a dream that izzy killed him and he treats it like a revelation, like a fantasy. izzy does everything he asks, surely he'll do this. but this is the one thing izzy can't do. but ed leaves the gun with him because he knows izzy can't live with him like this anymore.

and then ed's "I loved you. Best I could." and he really thinks izzy's dead. and if he finally pushed izzy away enough, then there's no one else that loves him anymore. cause ed believes he's unlovable sure, but how can he when izzy is there everyday, letting him do whatever he wants to him. and he never says its too much. but then hes dead. and then ed finds the courage to do something about it. and then izzy isn't dead, but he is shooting him and standing by while someone kills him and "Finally." finally he's pushed everyone away. even his first mate, who HAS love for him, like it's something he can't part from.

and izzy loves edward so much. he loves him so much he can't stand it (haha get it, cause of his leg...) and he tries preserving ed's image for stede, a man he hated, because ed loved him and oeugh oeugh oeugh

oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh you CANNOT talk about blackbonnet without taking into account the Izzy™ of it all....

ANYWAYYYYY

[after-the-end-times]

Ed was so calm and pretty that morning, all the while planning to drive them into a storm

He truly pushed the last of his hope for a future out the window with his bride and groom Ed and Stede

[mostlyvoidd-partiallystarss]

I know this might seem silly because it’s just a tv show, but I had such a viscerally bad reaction to the new episodes of ofmd that I’m still spiraling. Specifically the second episode (the third was a lot better than the first two) really sent me down. I just had to spend my whole therapy session working on a safety plan. I had absolutely no idea how dark the first few episodes were going to be and it caught me really off guard. It was so extremely triggering that after the second episode i could not move for a while (forever thankful that I watched them with a friend and was not alone when this happened and that they were willing to help me with whatever I needed) it really wrecked me not just because I’m so invested in the characters and didn’t want to see Ed like that but because of how the portrayal of his suicidality made me feel and how it brought me back to times I’ve felt like that (obviously in a less pirate murder way but the same feelings of fervent intense need for self destruction) it was just such a shock after last season being my silly little gay pirate show and having absolutely no hint that it was going to get Like That. Anyway if there are people who haven’t seen it yet just take care of yourself and be aware that it gets intense. Please watch safely.

[neonpigeons]

watching edward babygirl teach being insane and mentally ill and being like "aha wow he's so relatable" and then you realize. you too are insane and mentally ill, actually

[cobra-creampuff]

never not thinking about izzy in that time loop fic begging ed not to kill him and then killing himself with ed's weapon still in ed's hand

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Why did Ed go and talk to Izzy in s2e2?

This whole episode, Ed is getting his affairs in order - he has committed to killing himself and he's wrapping up loose ends. He does some things that make him feel better, like cleaning up his space. And he also gets Frenchie to show him where they're hiding Izzy, although there's no way he didn't know sooner ("do you think I wouldn't know the smell of my own rotting former first mate?"). It seems like he feels he needs to talk to Izzy before he dies.

On first brush, Ed's conversation with Izzy accomplishes two things for Ed. First, it takes away one of his weapons - he's making sure he's not going to have any means of defense when the crew mutinies on him. It also gives Izzy a chance to kill him, even though it doesn't work.

But here's my thing. Ed doesn't seem surprised at all when Izzy doesn't shoot him. So why was it so important to go and talk to him? If he wanted to make sure he wouldn't have his gun on him when the crew mutinied, he could've just tossed it overboard or even gifted it to another crew member. There's a reason he puts that gun in Izzy's hands specifically.

Putting that gun in Izzy's hands isn't just another attempt to get someone to kill him. It's Ed trying to make Izzy confront what he's done to him - you started this, he's saying, you told me you'd kill me if I couldn't be Blackbeard, so you need to finish the job.

He's not surprised when Izzy starts laughing at him, calls him a coward for being too scared to do it himself. But to Frenchie he specifically calls this conversation "closure" - even though Izzy didn't react in the way that Izzy wanted or try to talk him down from suicide, Ed feels like he's said his piece. Another loose end tied up.

"I loved you. Best I could." Izzy was never going to be able to love Ed in the way Ed needed, and Ed was never going to be what Izzy wanted.

[bluishorange]

…

[redshiftsinger]

I think there's also the moment where Izzy realizes that Ed is going to off himself one way or another, after he refuses to do it. He says "clean up your own mess, I'm not doing it" and instead of trying to push him, Ed just nods and walks away.

I think Ed's probably had acute suicidal episodes before, in similar ways. Putting himself in a complicated situation that he expects not to survive, handing his underlings opportunities to kill him after he's been cruel to them, if they're mutinously inclined -- he's just being more blatant about it now, with Izzy. He's definitely at least had lowkey suicidal episodes where he's not necessarily actively trying but also not making much of an effort to avoid putting himself in danger.

I think Izzy realized two things he's never quite put together so far in that scene:

That Ed has not been joking or messing with people when he does fucked up shit like making comments about "I haven't died yet, maybe we should try that" or threatens the crew before putting his gun under his own chin. He's actually genuinely showing his internal emotional state. Maybe he's never quite hit rock bottom this hard before, but he's definitely given Izzy clues to be able to figure it out (Izzy just didn't figure it out because he had this idea in his own mind of Blackbeard being the pinnacle of everything anyone could ever want to be, and couldn't imagine that Ed might actually be miserable and depressed a lot of the time)

Ed can't kill. He outsources the big job, and he's made Izzy his attack dog for years. And that includes not being able to go through with cleanly offing himself -- here he is, all but begging Izzy to do it for him.

Izzy doesn't want to do it, of course. Even if his instincts are to follow orders and raise the gun, even if he thinks that refusing will mean his own death, he can't do it.

But I think until Ed walks away, he thinks he's calling Ed's bluff. That if he doesn't do it, Ed will live. Because Izzy is the one who kills for him (well, Izzy and Ivan and Fang. But Ivan is dead and Fang is so incredibly soft-hearted at his core and also wouldn't be able to do what Ed is asking now). I think he's expecting that Ed will rage a bit, but ultimately chill out and accept that Izzy won't kill him. Until Ed doesn't react like that at all.

I think he turns the gun on himself when he realizes that Ed's determined to die this time and there's nothing he can do to stop it. When he realizes that when Ed said "came to say a proper farewell" he didn't mean he's having Izzy killed. He means he came to give Izzy first dibs on killing him -- but if Izzy won't do the job, someone else will. He's finally realized, consciously, that he's in love with Ed, and he's being confronted with how much HE contributed to Ed's self-destructive spiral. How deeply he's failed Ed all these years by not understanding what he was really trying to say. And now there's nothing he can do to fix it.

There is SO much to unpack in the whole "I dreamt...that you killed me. Shot me right through the skull." "Good for you." exchange. Izzy goes through like five discrete emotions in the span of a second. Regret, amusement, bitterness, arousal (??), resignation, all at once.

And then Jesus Christ that laugh he does after Blackbeard stands with his back to him, having given him a loaded gun. He's laughing and holding back tears at the same time, audibly sniffling. He can't do it, he has to walk it back, has to disguise his refusal to kill Ed as a pompous order for Ed to clean up his own mess. He can't talk about it. He can't express everything going on inside him. He can't save Ed from The Kraken.

So Ed leaves him with the gun. He ordered Izzy killed, and naturally, the only one on The Revenge loyal enough to follow Ed's orders to the letter is Izzy Hands.

There is still so much more to glean from this scene, I'm only scratching the surface. I haven't even touched on Ed's self harm manifesting as him trying to get everyone else to kill him. Like, we are deep in the trenches here, everyone and everything is fucked beyond belief. I just can't help but be captivated by Con's performance as Izzy here, the complexity poured into this man, who feels so guilty for not killing his captain that he turns the gun on himself.

[helloidkwhatimdoing-0]

Just finished s2e1 of ofmd

OH MY GODDDDDDD

Spoilers in the tags